Oh hello again. I'm back sooner than I thought. I just got to get this all out.
Watched "Evan Almighty" today. A silly comedy about a Congressman that gets visited by God aka Morgan Freeman.
The best God ever, although Alanis Morrissete fulfilled my teenage angst dreams of God.
God visits dude and says he's got a make an Ark to save the town from a flood. The wife thinks he's nuts and leaves. But God visits her at a diner and encourages her to see the bigger picture of her prayers. That if you ask for patience, God doesn't just hand it to you, he gives situations that offer the opportunity to learn patience. If you ask for courage, he gives you situations to learn courage. If you want to be closer to your family, he will provide a way for YOU to make that happen. Though I battle with the idea and philosophy of God as maybe a magic entity, the great mystery, a higher version of ourself, alien king, or a figment of our imagination. I resonated strongly with this. It hit me like a shock wave and really incited deep thought about recent experiences and what I've prayed for and what I've been given. I think it's a great way to look at the struggles we face. Finding the way through them and seeing what we can gain. How obstacles can be these amazing blessings in disguise.
I feel sometimes like everything I do in life is for a song and everything that happens to me, everything I feel needs to become a song so that it can live forever, so it can be released, so it can be a journey for someone else to find release too. Sometimes it feels like just writing a song about something that hurts will make it go away or something I want will make it alive, whatever I am asking of the song to do. The song is almost like a God itself.
The song below is one I started writing 3 years ago. I was sitting inside my little tiny room in Park Slope, huddled underneath my twin loft bed, guitar in hand and a heavy heart in my chest. I wanted to write a happy song, I wanted to write a love song. But I had nothing to go off of. I called on The Beatles "All you need is love" for a chord progression and meaningful inspiration. But nothing. "Damnit! I can never write a love song!" I said. And so this is what became of that moment, that realization that I wrote for the broken hearted, the confused, the lonely that my song is Never a Love Song. I took the idea with me out into the world and began documenting the moments I saw love around me and how I longed for that feeling. All my wonderment and longing poured into this song. I hope you can find something within it that resonates with you. But stay hopeful in more than that. I know our love song will be sung and we will be heard.